1 Do stay in Zona Sul
Trust us on this: most of your day and night life will revolve around the Ipanema neighborhood. Try to stay as close to it as possible.

2 Don’t walk around with jewelry
Ladies and gentlemen! This is not your turf, so no matter how much clout you have at home, it is not worth shit here. Necklaces, rings, expensive watches, bracelets etc. are not to be worn except when you are off to a swanky event or club. Otherwise, keep it down low.

3 Don’t argue with cops
The cops here are instructed to take action as opposed to discussing who is right. It doesn’t matter who is right, who stole what from whom, or if you didn’t know she was under 18. If they want to arrest you for anything, let them, then call your consulate. If they want to fine you for something you did, usually for a driving offense, (another reason to not drive), then it is up to your slickness to implore them out of giving you a ticket.

4 Get change for a 50
The surest way to end up in hell is to walk around with a R$50 note thinking that the beer guy, the bus or taxi will have change. Whenever at a restaurant, shop or bar, pay with the R$50. Five R$10 bills can be worth more than a R$50.

5 Don’t try to do cultural stuff in Barra
Barra is a nice neighborhood in Rio. It is modeled on American suburbs, with wide avenues, malls and strip malls, yet with skyscraper residential buildings instead of houses. Most of the businesses have names in English. It is, in summary, a taste of American life. We do, however, recommend Pepe beach and Nuth dance club.

6 Don’t stay far away because it is cheaper
Okay, you have a Brazilian connection you met back home or on the Internet. He is the one who begged you to come and you did. After arriving , you realize he lives in bumble fuck. What to do? Stay at his place and please him rather than enjoy the practicality of staying in Ipanema, as this Guide suggests? Or should you tell him that you want to explore Rio by yourself during the day (while he works or goes to school) and that you two can hook-up at night? Go for the second option. You will waste more time on cab traveling to and from his place.

7 Don’t try to drive
Don’t rent a car and try to figure out Brazilian road signs. Ok, believe this: not even Cariocas (people from Rio) know how to get around this maze-like city. So unless you’ve got a very good excuse, don’t try to drive around. One wrong turn and you can end up in the slums, being fined by the cops, or stuck in rush hour traffic. Even if your trip is all-expenses-paid, stick to taxis.

8 Don’t try the peppers
I beg you! Your stomach is not used to the chemistry in Brazilian peppers. Even if you can handle them, your intestines are bound to react in an explosive way for days, ruining your trip.

9 Avoid the hills.
Most of Rio’s slums are on the hills, so with the exception of Santa Teresa, Cosme Velho and Joatinga, hill sides and mountains should be avoided for your safety. Only go on trails with a tour guide.

10 Don’t assume the weather will stay nice
The weather in Rio, as in most tropical cities, can change drastically within an hour. If it’s sunny, don’t waste your time doing indoor tours like museums or shopping.